State of the Union

I’d like to use the words “nice and steady” to describe where Jolie and I are since having our little girl.  But if nice implies anything that resembles “easy”, then you would be wrong to assume that.  It’s been nothing but easy.  But I can at least say we are at a point that is steady.  We finally feel settled again and that part of it does feel nice.

The first few weeks of Nina’s life came with a lot of ups and downs.  If there’s anything harder than having your first child, it’s having your second.  By then, you have the same challenges as the first along with a toddler who haven’t quiet understood the concept of patience.  With all the new added responsibilities coupled with lack of sleep and rest, we were both left feeling stressed and overwhelmed.

But if there’s anything that dwarfs all the normal challeneges that comes with having a child, it would be breastfeeding.  It has been what our lives balanced on in these past weeks.  Between getting baby to properly latch, getting mom’s milk to come, and getting baby to stay awake long enough get more than an ounce, breastfeeding is hardly as easy as you think it should be.

While babies have the natural reflex to suckle, breastfeeding isn’t simply putting baby’s mouth on the nipple.  Toe-curling pain insues if you trivialize the process of latching.  Latching is a learned technique.  if I contributed anything to this cause of giving our child mother’s best, it was the role of coach.  Having been there with Lactation Specialist at the hospital and at our home and having heard, seen, and taught the various manuvers and the pitfalls to watch for, I was the closest Jolie was going to have to having a full time lactation nurse.

There would be no feeding from the breast if there be no breast milk.  What might seem natural is again not.  Breastmilk never came for Parker and this time we simply prayed our hearts out that it would.  To encourage mom’s body to produce milk, a demand had to be put on her body.  But with latching a challenge, Nina was hardly putting a demand.  In comes the Medella Synphony 2.0.  The breast pump of all breast pump.  It’s important that there is also body contact between baby and mom, which supposedly also aids in encouraging mom’s body to lactate.  So, after each breastfeeding sessions, Jolie would also pump.  And whatever we got from the pump, we then delivered to Nina via the bottle.  Feedings became a three-phase process that took almost 2 hours from start to finish.  And when you have to feed every two hours, it really did feel like Jolie was nursing and pumping through all hours.

It’s also been said that the lactation process is greatly affected by mom’s psychological state.  It requires a peaceful state of mind for milk to “let down”.  This again seems like another natural contridication when you consider the utter fatigue.  And did I mention the toe-curling pain??  Yeah!  That’s just roses and daisies.

So if you can get through these hellish gates, then you may still see the light at the end of the tunnel and the green pastures of breastfeeding.  And because of these gates, Nina hasn’t been completely free from formula.  She lost 10% of her birth weight due to the lack of milk supply.  So while we continued to work on breastfeeding, she was also getting the bottle, which introduced the concept and possible challenges from “nipple confusion”.

In Jolie’s resolve to breastfeed, she’s given it her very best even if it meant pumping ’round the clock; even if it meant chapped, bruised and bloodied nipples; even if it meant endless feeding sessions.  And for Jolie … it meant all of these.  All of this to train her body and baby in this dance called breastfeeding.

I’m happy to say this is seemingly all behind us now.  In terms of latching, “coach” Leo has been completely relieved of all duties.  It’s really beautiful to see how well Jolie has done in this once complicated body contortion act.  Now, it seems more like a natural thing for her to do – no more toe-curling pain, no more bloody nipples.  I am simply astounded by her will and courage to persists and continue with this seemingly lossing battle.  In two weeks, when Nina goes in for her 2 months check up and have her weight checked, we’re hoping we can truly put this behind us.

Having Nina has made raising a toddler that much more challenging.  I find myself having to dig even deeper to find whatever energy and patience I can scrape in the empty drums that were once filled and dedicated to Parker.  Parker continues to be a handful, especially now he’s in the heights of his terrible twos.  His strong will and persistence drives both Jolie and I to the outer limits.

Aside from constanly testing and pushing his parents, Parker has been a real good sport about his little sis.  No matter how much Nina seems to monopolize our time, Parker doesn’t display any gestures of resentment.  In fact, there’s many times he’s been seen trying to comfort her when she is crying and saying the same words we say to him when he’s upset.  And Nina is seemingly smitten with her big brother, too.  She’s so curious of Parker whenever he is near.  Where it would take me to be up and walking her in the kitchen to keep her amused and from crying, she can lay still and content watching Parker at play.

Our sleepy nurser continues to feed every two hours.  With the breasts being the only mode of feeding, Jolie gets the brunt of this.  Nina does sleep with us, so while I’m sleeping more now that Jolie’s got the breastfeeding under control, my sleep is no where close to reaching R.E.M.  Nights are doubly joyful when Parker wakes and wants only mom who’s busy breastfeeding.

Here’s some updated photos.  Enjoy.